anon_gyxi said in #3572 2d ago:
Anon asks how to find a good woman in 2025. I've been out of the game for a while and experience only generalizes so much, but success is informative, so I have some thoughts.
We all know when we hear of those lineups of perfect princesses that have everything going for them but can't find a husband that there must be something wrong with them. Well the same argument applies to you. If you can't find a good wife, there's something wrong with you. Fortunately we can think this through from first principles and turn the list of possible problems into a todo list of things to fix:
Step 1: be tall and handsome. The incel forums have debated this at great length with great rigor and this is the scientific result. At least you can do something about the latter like grooming, lifting, dressing well, etc, but we don't need to discuss here.
Step 2: be charismatic. The old pre-lookism "game" advice amounts to this. This can be trained, with focus on general social skills, having a strong frame, and knowing how to flirt. Study and practice, anon!
Step 3: have good potential and character. The right girls are like good investors: they can see your potential before it happens. The duller and lower character ones can't see you until after you succeed. There is therefore a signal-to-noise advantage in finding your wife early, and in putting yourself in order.
Step 4: be attracted to women. We live in an asexual age. It's cringe to be heterosexual in 2025 but you need to do it anyways. Notice that girl across the room and develop genuine optimistic admiration for her, then go talk to her. You can filter later.
Step 5: be socializing enough. If you aren't in the room, you won't see her. Not to generalize too hard from my own experience but parties are a great way to meet people. Even on the apps you're going to come off as a sperg if you don't regularly socialize with the kind of people you want to meet.
Step 6: escalate optimistically. Finding reasons to be pessimistic about any given girl instead of going ahead as if it might work is a big mistake. The practice reps at least are very worth it, and she might surprise you. Even if you think it's not going to work, don't cut her off until she's actually wasting your time or you would be spoiling her virtue.
Step 7: avoid situationships. The ultimate high risk waste of time is falling in love with the wrong girl and spending years in limbo or worse bumbling into the wrong marriage. One reason to be explicit early is that forcing the decision makes it harder to deceive yourself. You can't allow yourself to be a naively lovestruct comfort-zombie. You must become a hardended selective breeding officer arranging the right pairing. Save falling in love for the wedding day.
Step 8: be realistic about your own value and flaws. The hardest part is calibrating your standards for who's good enough and who's too good for you. Shoot your shot with the best of course, but if you're doing the rest of this and not meeting two potential mates per year *who are also into you*, your standards are too high. Value of information is high in the teens and early 20s, but by the mid 20s it's time to pick someone.
Step 9: be able to recognize a good woman. There's a ton more than fits here about what to look for in a woman, but while we're on the obvious train, you need to study and reflect on this too.
Step 10: be oriented to real marriage. This was the point of the previous thread. You're not going to succeed if you don't have your strategic priorities in order. Girls can tell, and so can I. A lot of guys don't know what they want. If you do know what you want, your charisma will bend your girl towards it.
I'm sure you'd rather I give you the secret silver bullet formula or tell you it's all hopeless these days, but that would be cope. If I was single today, this is the plan I would be running. Do others' experiences fit with this?
referenced by: >>3607
Anon asks how to fin