Many anons have discussed the problem of fertility. Okay lets say that problem is solved, we got the kids, what now? How do you not only give your kids your genes but also your culture and support such that they don't get addicted to drugs or are themselves unsuccessful in dating or fail at becoming economically productive in any way? Basically don't join all the other people in the hive-mind and run straight into Moloch. College and kids moving out seem like the prime ways that kids lose touch to their families and culturally deviate from their parents culture. Additionally, the modern economy pushes most people out of their own community to fill some unfilled economic niche far away. Lastly, people are also taught to self-actualize in a way distant from their parents. I am interested in how people would do parenting and try to help solve problems that many youths now have (and maybe will still have in 20 years?), especially starting at the age of 15-18, since those are the years where parenting advice, I heard, usually stops.
>>3805 My wife and I are both not native to this American culture of alienating kids from parents. We both lived at home while going to nearby colleges, and have great relationships with our parents and parents culture. The sibling that went away to Harvard lives farther away but didn't crash out or anything. The "self-actualization" amounts to different hobbies, somewhat less christianity, and much less liberalism. So I dunno. Have you tried not being a gigastriver?
We're homeschooling. A friend said the other day "wow you guys are maximally prepared to not care what happens to society. Your kids are being raised without institutional dependence". How that holds up as they age I don't know. Maybe I'm naive but I'm not really worried. We have a strong family history and a focus on wisdom and good character more than arbitrary ideology, and my view is that will hold up well.
I think the Landian provocation "abandoning command and control is the core of the faith" has more wisdom than it might seem here. Our legal and cultural environment, being descended from English sects that thought like this, is optimized to be very difficult for anything that isn't like this. People get flame-out alienated kids when they teach them arbitrary bullshit like evangelical christianity (or wokeness? Will be interesting to see gen alpha break out of the wine mom cage). cf Aella and the general trend of ex-Evangelicals. People raised to seek their own understanding of the world and used to being able to argue in good faith with their parents and community can't really rebel in dysfunctional ways. I never resented my parents and the only thing I regret in my upbringing is that they didn't try hard enough to teach me the best of what they knew about the world and how to live. Lesson learned. But wisdom is not ideology.
But also, you're going to lose some. My blood is very volatile. Probably 50% chance of flameout on pure genetics. Ok fine. Have twice as many.
If the question is "What can a parent do to encourage pro-natal family development in their children" I think the answers are quite common sense:
1) Location, location, location. It's often the grandparent-age family members with money to burn. However, the "move" is to dollar arbitrage career earnings in vacation towns/stay put where you've finally paid off the mortgage. Instead, move to your kids. This might mean working longer to afford the costs of economic concentration/agglomeration/etc. but given the disparities in income, it's just much easier to do that than to ask the kids to move to a low-growth town.
2) Advice is far less helpful than infrastructure. Being present is a huge deal, being able to subsidize family growth is an even bigger deal. Nagging people (even in a positive sense) is far less helpful than just being like we can provide XYZ.
3) Don't nag, but do speak in reference to your checkpoints and not societal checkpoints. If the median age of first child is 28, but you think it should be 23, you should say that casually in discussions. Same for weddings.
4) Continually practice what you preach. Remain involved. There's plenty to do, and if you really want babies in the house, you can make it happen at that age. Adopt/foster/nanny etc. etc. etc. You gotta be in it for the love of the game, if you want your kids to be in it for the love of the game.
5) If you do all of this, you quickly find yourself in places with other people who prioritize these things. This lowers costs for pseudo-public services tremendously. Go where markets fit you, rather than fitting yourself into the market.
Overall, the main psy-op here is in thinking "Well my kid went to a university, washing my hands." You can leave your kids a lot of choices and then just complement those choices with what you provide. You can play the game a little, you just have to love the game.
Your goal is misframed. You should want your kids to improve upon your way of life, not simply replicate it. That means they need to recognize it as something valuable but also have room to test its limits.
To demonstrate the value of your ideology, it seems to me that you need to live your values and they need to result in some amount of success that even people outside of your value system will recognize. You cannot be poor and low status and expect your kids to happily follow in your footsteps. Ideally you also find ways of pointing out the pitfalls of certain life choices when they come up in conversation, movies, etc. Hard rules regarding the most egregious errors (irresponsible use of drugs and motor vehicles) are probably wise.
Also, you can simply overwrite the social expectations regarding what a normal and healthy young adulthood looks like. If you don't want them to become management consultants when they reach 22, you should be actively encouraging culinary school or West Point or whatever else they seem genuinely interested in.
We plan to dispense money upon the completion of key milestones rather than waiting until our deaths. E.g. a 'safety net' of ~$25K when the child leaves the home, and increasing amounts for completing a rigorous training program, getting married, and having children. Bribe them!